What You’ve Been Too Busy to Notice
When life’s moving at full speed, it’s easy to get caught up in ‘doing’ and stop paying attention to what’s really going on.
It’s a bit like driving at 70mph - you’re covering ground, but the details blur. You miss the small signs and signals that something’s off.
But when life slows - maybe you’re on holiday, taking a rare quiet weekend, or simply giving yourself space - the blur starts to sharpen. Things you’ve been too busy to notice suddenly come into focus.
You might realise your thoughts keep going back to the same thing you’ve been avoiding. You might notice how you feel in certain places or around certain people. And you might remember parts of yourself that only seem to appear when you’re not rushing.
The problem is, most people dismiss those moments. They tell themselves they’ll “deal with it later” or “when work’s less busy.” But this is actually the perfect time to listen. When you’re not in constant reaction mode, you can connect the dots between what you’re feeling and what’s driving it.
In Chapter 2 of Unlearning Masculinity, I explain that self-awareness isn’t just about ‘knowing yourself’. It’s about developing the ability to notice your own patterns in real time - the triggers, the habits, the emotional responses you’ve been running for years, often without even realising it. That’s a skill that changes everything, because it means you’re no longer at the mercy of old conditioning. You can start to choose your responses, instead of defaulting to them.
Slowing down - even briefly - is the doorway to that awareness. It gives you the mental space to ask:
What does this thought want me to know?
What feels in alignment, and what doesn’t?
You don’t have to act on everything you notice straight away. But if you make a habit of ignoring what’s coming up, those truths usually find another way to get your attention - often through burnout, resentment, or a sense that you’ve lost yourself.
So if something surfaces for you when life is quieter, give it some attention. It might just be the most important thing you can do for yourself right now.
If you want to explore this further, Chapter 2 of Unlearning Masculinity is where I go deeper into exactly how to do this - and why it matters so much for the life you’re building.
I’m rooting for you…..
Learn more about the book here
